we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
