we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
