It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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