Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I need a beard to bite.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
