I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
