I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
