God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
