I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i think i just lost a toe
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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