Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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