I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You've changed since you got that strap on
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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