Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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