I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I had to cum in my sink.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
