i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
