Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
