No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
They left me at home... I'm a liability
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
