3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's official drugs can't kill me
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
