U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
