Duck Duck Cougar?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
