Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
