Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
