Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
ttyl tear gas
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
