In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
