nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize