She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
