talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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