you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
