I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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