btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
