It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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