its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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