He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize