I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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