Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
