Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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