Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
