I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I checked into jail on foursquare
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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