Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
