Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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