i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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