He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
