escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
