Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
