We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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