Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
