Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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