My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
