somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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