Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
