I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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