So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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