I accidentally had phone sex last night
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This is my gift to your gina
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize