I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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