is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
