Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize