It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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