We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
