I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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