Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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