Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
