I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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