I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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